Nintendo requesting consumers to send in Pokemon Yellow copies so they can destroy them

Nintendo is visibly upset about the release of Pokemon: Special Pikachu Edition, or PokemonPokemon Yellow Yellow, and they’re not trying to hide it.

Nintendo has unleashed a message across all possible platforms for all consumers to send in their copies of Pokemon Yellow that they may or may not own. This includes a message shown when starting up a Nintendo console, tweets, blogs, and even posts made personally by Pokemon Yellow developer Thom Yorke on 4chan. Nobody over at Nintendo is happy about this Pokemon game.

Thom Yorke says “We’ve been trying to hide the fact that Pokemon Yellow ever existed ever since it’s release in 98, and we’re pretty disappointed with our results thus far.” Thom also reports multiple periods of depression in the the past one and a half decades trying to cover up Pokemon Yellow. “Every night, I get a copy of Pokemon Yellow and crush it with my forehead. Feels good.” He gave us a tour in his house and we saw crushed Pokemon Yellow cartridges everywhere. Me and Stiiinkyshoes had a hard time not stepping on shards from the shattered cartridges.

Nintendo CEO Giorgo Moroder states that he never knew about Pokemon Yellow until it’s release, and it was too late to stop it by the time it was out. Moroder says

We’re all just trying to forget about Pokemon Yellow ever even happened. It was a monstrosity and I think that everybody should just move on from it.

Giorgo was disappointed by the small amount of people sending in copies of Pokemon Yellow yet, but those who have had have been awarded with a personal thank you video from Reggie. Those who haven’t… well, let’s just say that they’re not here for an interview.

After the interview, Giorgo, in an attempt to gather his thoughts, broke down crying. Even long after we had left the building, we can still hear his wails and screams. “POKEMON YELLOW?! MORE LIKE POKEMON SMELLOW” we would hear him shout. We were worried for him. We cared. We knew what he was going through. But there was nothing that could be done.

See you guys next time!

“more like biscuits amirite” – Half-Life 2 Writer Ben Gibbard

One of the main writers of the legendary video game, Half-Life 2 has recently opened a Twitter account. The account has remained mostly inactive until recently. Ben has simply stated “more like biscuits amirite.”

Fans of the game series have already made predictions of what this could mean for the company and for the game franchise. There is nothing confirmed, however people have put the first letters together to make MLBA. This matches the baseball logo. Maybe Valve has an upcoming sports game planned? Maybe a Half Life Baseball spinoff. Either way, fans are predicting an ARG and things are happening quick.

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Though Ben Gibbard made the tweet several days ago, no one at Valve has mentioned it or acknowledged it except for Valve Programmer Brian Wilson, who just states “Gibbard was drunk and did not know what he was saying.”

Still, fans will always speculate about a new Half Life game, and maybe Wilson was just saving Gibbard from trouble with Valve for releasing info. Whatever the case is, we at BootWack look forward to what Valve has in store. Whether that’s a MLBA game or a new canon title. Or maybe a canon MLBA game, we’ll never know.

Gabe Newell refuses to comment on the situation.

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Gibbard, who states “more like biscuits amirite”

StiiinkyShoes trips into a vortex

StiiinkyShoes has tripped through a vortex into a parallel universe, but with our trusty walkie talkies we remained in touch. Gas is literally $1,000,000,000 per gallon, and Apple is entering bankruptcy. SEGA makes the decision to let Nintendo release games on their consoles.

It seems that that parallel dimension may be leaking into our world, seeing as how the industry decisions have been very questionable recently.